I've been having pretty bad dreams lately. Dreams where either I or my surroundings are completely out of control. Dreams where I am so tense, or bumbling into something stupid, that my skin starts peeling off in strips or my eyes become infected with an incurable disease or my feet turn into solid gold and prevent me from flying and rising to greet the dawn...Or, where the serial killers run rampant and nobody cares, and I cannot stop them because I am normal...They look in my eyes and laugh at the futile courage, sapped by fear, that I've managed to muster, which is nothing against the oncoming threat... Can it be a sort of dream-depression? Still. I am resolved not to let it get the better of me.
Laila and Amanda certainly seem to see it in me as well, because in my next dream, we are about to embark upon a routine patrol of the nearest city when Laila turns to me and says: "You look a little worse for wear. Let's take a break and do something fun."
"Fun?!?" I cry out in defiance. "There are people out there who need our help, and you talk of fun? We can't take a break from saving lives! We're superheroes, for whales' sake! We keep on fighting the good fight until we're DEAD!" I think the use of the antiquated exclamation clinches their theories about me, because the next moment we find ourselves on a secluded stretch of beach near Laila's college, soaking up rays and chilled Martinelli's apple cider...
"Guys!" I insist, scrambling off of my towel. "Seriously, I'm fine! We need to get back to work, there are nefarious plots to be foiled!" They ignore me and keep reading their books.
I try a different tack and start slowly sneaking away, but Amanda, out of the corner of her eye, catches me, and with the lift of a finger raises a force field in the sand. "Nah-ah, Art. Just sit down and enjoy the sun. We're not going anywhere until you've calmed down a little. We know you haven't been sleeping well. You have the eyes of a rabid dog." I slump back down in defeat. Her force fields have always been stronger than mine. There's no way I'm breaking through.
"At least let me listen to the police scanner," I whine. Laila takes it out of the picnic basket and hands it to me, and like a spoiled and grumpy child, I curl up with it in a small ditch of sand, my back to my friends, to sulk over what I am missing.
Just then, a shadow falls over our beach. Something huge is rising from the water.
"Yes!" I exult, jumping to my feet and preparing to meet the monster. "Finally!"
"Pack your stuff," says Laila, grabbing her basket, shoes, and umbrella."We're leaving."
"WHAT?!" I cry in shock. "But that thing is coming towards the houses! We have to stop it before it destroys them! It is our sworn duty to protect the people!" I break out of the field with a muster of energy and rush toward the oncoming behemoth, leaping into the air, preparing to deal a glancing blow on its strange and unseemly head. Just as I am landing, I notice something strange. The monster appears to be...sliding apart...
The monster is not a monster after all. It is a whale. As the collected algae and coral and assorted sea life slides off its back, I can see the normal shape of a small whale, its side pierced by the weight of a hunting spear. It is already dead. I sink to my knees in the shallow water and place my hand on its rough skin. I was ready to attack this thing, when I didn't even know what it was. I could have hurt something innocent. My mind is obviously not ready for work right now.
Amanda comes over and puts her hand on my shoulder, and I don't have to hear her words to understand. I stand up and help her push the poor whale back out to sea, and together we gather up the rest of our belongings and go home to watch movies and relax, and build ourselves up for the fights of tomorrow. The world and its troubles will always be there, I have discovered, but you cannot always be there for it if you do not first care for yourself.
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